Doubts and dreams.

Exhibitions, Galleries

“I don’t believe anyone ever suspects how completely unsure I am of my work and myself and what tortures of self-doubting the doubt of others has always given me.” ― Tennessee Williams

All artists have self doubts.

My husband often has his doubts and uncertainties simultaneously with a very clear dream and extraordinarily clear talent. The moment of finding his style was a pivotal point. Not in no longer having those doubting moments but more determined.

It is amazing how just taking a moment to stop and observe can help you clear your mind. As I ate my particularly prepared porridge and looked out the window, I captured a moment. A bird perched in a tree finding shelter from the wind. How much protection it found? I wondered, as the tree danced with the movement of the strong gusts on this cold and blustery January morning.

Even within language we may not all be visualising the same thing. If we say ‘tree’, what type of tree is it. What are you thinking of? A willow drooping low and forlorn, a palm reaching energetically tall, a busy evergreen, a strong oak with branches stretching outwards. Is it a tree made out ladies legs? What concept do we have in our own mind’s eye.

bird branch

‘The Branch’ will be shown at FLUX , The Rag Factory. London. FEB 18th-22nd

It is easy to think of trees as strong and immoveable. As the numerous branches move like dancing arms outside it makes me understand that nothing remains the same. Everything is moving, flowing, shaking, changing.

I had a big writers wobble the other day after reading my brother’s newly formed blog. I had a sudden large wave of self-doubt as I compared my own skills with his, unfavourably. Immediately seeing his confident youthful writing style as superior to my own rather than thinking that it is just a different way of writing.

sketch doubts

‘A sketch’ by Sam Shendi

Perhaps a tiny slip of the deadly envy creeped in or a little bit of sibling rivalry but it didn’t last long. I don’t harbour bad and unnecessary feelings for long. Especially towards my younger brother to whom I am maternally overprotective of. I used it positively. It made me realise that I had to focus on my own style and my own direction.

Observing nature helped too, the bird in the tree. We all have moments where we doubt ourselves. The wind shakes the branches of our spirit a little. It makes us grow and develop. My brother who is writing about his recent travels, tells me he hasn’t changed. People don’t change. Perhaps travel doesn’t change us. I think though, if the experience doesn’t change us then time will. Travelling inwardly to the depths of our soul should change us. If we want to change the world then we have to start with ourselves.

with a bird

‘Conversation with a bird’ by Sam Shendi

I have read lots of beautifully brilliantly written blogs over the last four years, here are 8 I would recommend:

http://outsideairblog.com/                             https://knowthesphere.wordpress.com/

http://winterowls.com/                                  https://pathsofthespirit.wordpress.com/

https://ittosjournal.wordpress.com/              http://wharnsby.com/

https://haywardhelen.wordpress.com/         https://emmasouthlondon.wordpress.com/

“The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize.”- Robert Hughes. Perhaps. I guess it is one of those emotions, it is only human. ‘Only Human’ my husband’s exhibition at Cartwright Hall will end on 23rd February. So one more month to go and view it.

So my mantra for this month. Stop doubting and start daring to dream.

sketchbooks display

‘Sketchbooks’ on display at Cartwright Hall Art Gallery

cellar gallery

‘Only Human’ exhibition at Cartwright Hall Art Gallery

The Owl Challenge

Drawings, Relationships
Mr. Owl

‘Owl’

So from the heights of previews and openings in London to the day-to-day drawings at home with his boys. Today’s challenge from our eldest son was to draw an owl never seen before. Even I had ago! (though I am not going to upload my drawings on here) This mixes the cartoon designer, the interest in fashion and the conceptual sculptural ideas all in one sketch! Happy sketching:)

Euphoria

Drawings, Egyptian, Galleries, History, Making, Mother and Child, Soul searching

To follow-up Monday’s interview and my french translation entry on Debut, ‘Euphoria’ comes from Ancient Greek. Technically, euphoria is an affect, but the term is often used to define an emotion as, an ‘intense state of transcendent happiness combined with an overwhelming sense of contentment’. It has also been defined as an “affective state of exaggerated well-being or elation.” (Wikipedia).I have just jumped up and down for 10 minutes making a strange kind of squeaking noise I didn’t know I had inside me, whilst my husband rang me to tell me that he had been SELECTED!!!! We are both in a Euphoric state. My husband said he wanted to leave everything at the shop and literally run home. His euphoric energy would probably only get him a few yards before his body told him the reality. However, he had to stay and see a customer. The word derives from Greek εὐφορία, “power of enduring easily, fertility”. So this sketch embodies exactly that.

Also, in Egypt they celebrate a year on from the revolution. My sister-in-law seems quite euphoric about the future for her children.  I must find out more from friends and family over there. It is also a close friends birthday. Happy Day! Euphoric Day in fact.